Praise & Blame

1: Contact/talk to someone you’ve wronged and apologize. Be very specific about the thing you did that was wrong. Demonstrate that you know that it was wrong and that you understand why it was wrong. Take accountability without trying to justify or defend your behavior. Do not ask for forgiveness. You may consider explaining the ways that you plan to avoid wrongdoing in the future.  

Option 2:  Write a letter to someone you've wronged, apologizing and taking accountability for something you did. You don’t need to send the letter, but you must identify the ways that you acted wrongly, why it was wrong, and what you plan to do to avoid wrongdoing in the future. Then, write a letter to yourself, forgiving yourself your wrongful conduct.  

Evidence: Include whatever you think would effectively show that you attempted an act of apology/seeking forgiveness.

Forgive someone who has wronged you. What does this mean to you? Write a letter forgiving the person who wronged you (don't send the letter.) Then write a letter from the perspective of the person you are forgiving, either justifying their conduct or apologizing to you. You do not have to show me either letter, but you should reference the letters and describe the rest of your process of forgiveness in the response. How does forgiving that person change your relationship? How does it feel to forgive? How did forgiving someone change how you felt about yourself?

Evidence: Include whatever you think would effectively show that you attempted an act of forgiveness.

Become a prosecutor and a defender for your inner moral life. 

For two days, every time you feel yourself blaming someone, imagine that you are a prosecutor who will have to publicly justify your blame before an impartial jury. Before blaming, write down:

• What exactly did the person do?

• What obligation did they violate?

• What evidence do you actually have?

• What alternative explanations exist?

• What response would be proportionate?

Then write your reflection about whether your standards for blaming are higher when you must articulate reasons than when blame remains an emotional reaction.

For the next two days, choose one person who repeatedly annoys or frustrates you. Now your job is to become that person's defense attorney. Every time they do something irritating, construct the strongest charitable case on their behalf. In your reflection, explain whether your overall judgment of them changed.

Evidence: Blame/defense logs 

For the next three days, praise as many people as you possibly can. Every time you praise someone, write it down in your praise log. In your reflection, talk about how your intention to praise people changed the way you viewed and interacted with them. Do you think people should praise others more or less? Did you ever insincerely praise people? When do you think insincere praise is acceptable?  The student who praised people the most will get a bonus point.

Evidence: Praise log and one witness who confirms that you did in fact praise a lot of people during those days.